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Showing posts with label English. Show all posts
Showing posts with label English. Show all posts

Sunday, July 12, 2020

Clean Funny Jokes In English | Funny English Jokes

Clean Funny Jokes In English | Funny English Jokes 

        Jokes are playing important role in our day to day life. Now a days, writing of jokes becomes a passion cum profession for million users of the internet. And the internet has a lot of stuff in this regard. And we are the part of this internet society to provide more new stuff to the readers as well as surfers to make their mood funny. Here are some of the clean funny jokes which will change a readers boring mood into memorable and funny moment. so lets have fun with these clean funny jokes in English language....
Funny Jokes in Urdu, Funny Jokes In Hindi, Funny Jokes in Hinglish
Clean Funny English Jokes

Punishment for an Unknown Crime

Judge (to petitioner): Why do you want this divorce?

Petitioner: Sir, my wife peels garlic from me, chops onions, washes the dishes.

Judge: So what's the problem? Garlic should be slightly warmed before peeling, it will be easily peeled. Put the onion in the freezer for a while before chopping it, cutting will not irritate the eyes. Put the utensils in a tub of water for a few minutes before washing them, they will be easily cleaned. Soak the clothes in plain water before soaking them in the surf, the stains will come out easily and there will be no pain in the hands.

Petitioner: Just understood sir . . .

Judge: What do you understand ? ? ?

"That your condition is worse than mine. Your wife washes the clothes from you in addition to garlic, onions and utensils ..."

Judge (angrily): This court sentences you to five years hard labor for revealing the secret of the esteemed court.


Online Education

Teacher: Your son reaches 66 after 45 while reading the count.

 The boy's father: I explained to him that 46 comes after 45, but when you were teaching, the network gone at 45and then came at 66. Now he is saying that this is what Sir taught & this is right.


# A father is always a father

         She was a university student and not that type of girl who gives up easily. She found out that her class fellow had been separated from his father because during the lock down his family found out about their relationship. ۔

         She frightened, and dialed the same familiar number. In a heavy and strange voice “Hello”  from the front.

 She mustered up the courage and decided to speak bluntly.

     “Peace be upon you, Uncle. I have to talk to you. Uncle, I am the same girl with whom you made your only son’s condition worse yesterday. Uncle he is your only son, you should take care of his choice. Uncle, we like each other. And we can live a very good life together. Uncle, please reconsider your decision. ”

         In one breath she said the whole thing. On the other hand, there was silence for a while. Then, came the answer.

"Daughter Natasha, you are right. I too have realized my mistake. We will bring the relationship to your home soon. ”

     She answered in a soft tone, which she did not expect at all.  

        "Uncle, thank you, but my name is Hina, not Natasha." "

         "But my son is related to Natasha. He himself has given the same name. The chat I read had the same name. And even in the Kashmir video you sent, he kept saying, "Natasha, don't throw snow, the camera will run out of water." "

        There was a deep silence on the other side.

         She thought, she had never been to Kashmir with him. No such video made.

        She cut off the call thinking that this wretch has something to do with someone else.

     As soon as the call was cut off, the boy's father smiled and put down his mobile phone

        "Father is always a father ...!"

“My son, your real fate is to happen now, as soon as you go to university. You will have to give a million of contradictions to find out who this Natasha is ... !!! "


Monday, June 29, 2020

Extremely Funny Jokes In English | Funny Jokes In English

Extremely Funny Jokes In English | Funny Jokes In English

                Funny jokes play an important role in our life. Some times we really need some extremely funny jokes to change the mood. Funny jokes can make our day memorable and can change a boring session into a extremely funny session. So that we are here providing some of extremely funny jokes to read and share.
jokes in Hindi, jokes in Urdu, jokes in Hinglish
Extremely Funny English Jokes

Hard Worker

Addressing the meeting, the labor leader said....
"I love hard work and toil. I often lie on a bed under the shade of a tree and watch people work hard all day."

Reality based Painting

An artist used to paint realistically. Didn't make abstract pictures. But one of his acquaintances insisted on making an abstract portrait of him. He made a portrait and kept it in the studio. One day when his student came to the studio, he saw the artist holding his head in front of the portrait.
    “What’s the matter....? Didn't he like the portrait?” The student asked sympathetically.
    "No ... He liked the portrait, but he said that the nose is not well made so kept it here to fix it." The artist said in a dead tone.

Till Today

Son (asking his father): Dad...! When will I be young enough to go out of the house without informing my mother...?
Father (in a sad tone): Son...! I have also never been so young till today.

Ultimate Answer

Q.      Why was the Maths book so sad?
A.      Because it has so many problems.

In Love with In-Laws

          A person has gone to a veterinary hospital with his pet dog and said to the doctor… “Cut off my dog’s tail.”
          Veterinary Doctor asked him in amazement… “Why do you want to do that?”
    The person with dog replied, “Because, My mother-in-law is visiting us and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.

 Take No Chance

          A lawyer phoned his client overseas, “your mother-in-law passed away, shall we order burial or cremation?”
          The Client replied, “Take no chances, Order both.”

Man, The Master of Women

Prospective husband on a book stall, “Do you have any book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’.
Sales girl: “The fiction department is o other side, Sir.”

Then & Now

Wife to husband: You Know, I was a fool, when I married you.
Husband replied: Yes dear, you are actually fool, but then I was in love and didn’t notice.

Something Extraaa…

Salesman to Santa: Sir, do you want this powder….?
“For what….?” Santa asked to salesman.
“For ants, Sir” salesman replied.
“No…” Santa explained.. “Today, if I give them powder, then tomorrow they will ask for lipstick or something else.”

Rough Draft v/s Final Copy

Question: Why were males created before females…?
Answer: He was the rough draft before the final copy.

Pray for what…?

Sam: Do you pray before eating…?
John: No, My mom is a good cook.

Kissing Scene

A lady kissing a lion inside the cage in circus. Ring Master asked people  “Can anyone do this…?”
Santa (In excitement): I can do this, but first take the lion away.

Oh God..!

Santa: People consider me as “God”.
Banta: How do you know..??
Santa: when I went to the park today at morning, everybody said, “Oh God! you’ve come again.”

Poor Chicken

On their anniversary, wife asked, “Shall we have butter chicken for dinner?”
Husband: Why do punish the poor chicken for our mistake…?

Why this so….?

Santa was crying, Banta asked him why..?
Santa: I have only one brother, but my sister has two.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Seriously Funny Jokes In English

Seriously Funny Jokes In English

  😊😃Looking for the seriously funny jokes. Then you are on a right place.  Here is a collection of  Seriously funny jokes in English which can change your mood and you never forget to revisit. So lets have fun to read and share .....☺😍

Jokes In Urdu, Jokes In Hindi, Jokes In Hinglish
Seriously Funny English Jokes

April Fool

       A man boarded a bus to go somewhere on April 1. When the conductor demanded to buy a ticket, he paid ten rupees out of his own pocket and bought the ticket, then addressed the conductor and said ... "April Fool ...! I also have a pass."

Innocence

       Elections were about to take place, candidates were going door to door asking for votes. A candidate knocked on a door and a young girl opened it.
"Hello doll." The candidate said ... "Is your father in the Congress party or in the Samajwadi Party . . . ?"
"He is in the bathroom.” The girl replied innocently.

Mindfulness

       One day guests came to the house of a stingy person.
The miser asked the guest ... "What will you eat?"
One of the guests said ... "We will eat what you eat."
Stingy person ... "My heart is wishing to eat some fresh air at this time."

Ideal lazy

      The general manager of the office was an ideal lazy person. One day he suddenly surprised everyone by announcing that brother! I will go to the gym today.
      "Very well ...!" Said a gentleman happily..." finally you got the idea of exercise."
"Who is going to exercise poorly ..." GM said making a face ... "I have to cancel my membership."

The Habit of Wasteful Spending

  "John, are you reading anything ...?" The stingy father asked his son.
"No." the son replied shortly.
"Are you writing something?" The father asked again.
"No, Dad ... I'm thinking of something." John replied.
“Then take off your glasses for God's sake. This habit of your wasteful spending will one day make me bankrupt.” The stingy father roared.

For the first time

John (to friend): Look, that girl is looking at me and smiling.
"Its nothing." friend replied ... "When I first saw you, I didn't stop laughing for three days."

Celebration

Wife (to husband): Look at the drunkard in front of me, I refused him for marriage ten years ago and he is still drinking.
Husband: Wow...! Such a long celebration.

Who Started...?

Father: Son . . . ! This time you have to bring 90% in the exam.
Son: No, Dad . . . ! I will bring 100% this time.
Father: Why are you joking?
Son: Who started it?

Misunderstanding

Wife: You were abusing me last night while sleeping.
Husband: You have misunderstood.
Wife: Misunderstood, how…?
Husband: It’s that, I was asleep.

Good News Column

       In the newspaper's office, a journalist asked another, "Why is the Minister so angry at the news of his resignation ...?"
       "You probably didn't pay attention. We mistakenly printed the news of his resignation in the Good News Column," replied another journalist.

Pearl Necklace

       A rich man and his wife were going somewhere. On the way, the wife got a slight cough and the husband asked with great love ... "Dear!" May I have something for your throat...? "
The wife smiled and said ... "Yes ...! The pearl necklace we have seen at the jeweler's."

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Very Funny Jokes In English

Very Funny Jokes In English

                    😊😃Looking for the very funny jokes. Then you are on a right place.  Here is a collection of  very funny jokes in English which can change your mood and you never forget to revisit. So lets have fun to read and share .....☺😍


Jokes In Hindi, Jokes In Urdu, Jokes In Hinglish
Very Funny English Jokes

The Obvious Difference

       The difference between a normal woman and a film actress is very clear that an ordinary woman reserves her wedding dress for her daughter after marriage while a film actress keeps the wedding dress for her next marriage after marriage.

Kind-Hearted

A very kind man was living in a village. He cared more about others than himself. He always found concern for others in his troubles.
Once, despite all precautions, locusts invaded his cotton fields and destroyed all crops.
When this man met his friend in the village Circle, after talking here and there, the friend asked, “And tells me ...! What is the condition of the crop?”
“Too bad…” The man replied with a cool sigh.
“Why...? What happened . . . ?” The friend asked anxiously, “Just tell me, man.” the kind-hearted man taking another deep breath & said... “A million locusts are roaming in my fields and there is nothing for the poor to eat.”

Reason

          Referring to his wife, a gentleman told his friend ... "I married her because she saved my life."
The friend inquired with interest ... "How is that ...?"
"She stopped his father from shooting at me." he replied.

Act of Richness

       Once a beggar came to a gentleman and begged, "The question is for one rupee, Sir ...?"
The gentleman came near to the beggar and told "what are you doing man? Ask for more!"
Beggar asked happily, "It is a question of 50 rupees, Sir . . .?"
Gentleman opened his wallet with a selfless payment and said, "I'm sorry, Baba ... At first, it was an insult to us to apologize for the question of less money."

Proper Style

A gentleman joined to his new job and worked on the computer late in the evening on the first day. The boss was also happy and asked ... "What did you do till evening?"
He replied ... "All the buttons on the computer keyboard were distorted; I have fitted them all properly."

The Secret of Health

One friend (to another): Banana peel should also be eaten.
Second friend: Does it make hands and feet healthy?
First friend: Yes . . . ! Not of those who eat, but of those who walk on the road.

The Shopkeeper's Surprise

A boy (to shopkeeper): Uncle . . . ! How did you give these eggs?
Shopkeeper (surprised): what are you asking…? The price or method..!

Own Thing

A wrestler (to his opponent): You can never win this competition because you are fighting only for the prize and not for your honor and dignity.
Opposing Wrestler: Obviously, the one who does not have it fights for it.

This is how it is…!

One day in Saudi Arabia, an Indian went to a grain store to buy flour.
Indian: I need wheat flour.
Shopkeeper (pointing to lentils): Haazaa..!
Indian (mixing up wheat grains on palm): This is how it is of….!

The Answer is how, the question is….!

Police (to shopkeeper): Do you black coal ...?
Shopkeeper: No sir. Coal is naturally black.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Best Funny Jokes In English | Jokes in English

Best Funny Jokes In English | Jokes in English

                       😊😃Looking for the best funny jokes. Then you are on a right place.  Here is a collection of  most funny jokes in English which can change your mood and you never forget to revisit. So lets have fun to read and share .....☺😍


Jokes In Hindi, Jokes In Urdu, Jokes In Hinglish
Very Funny English Jokes

How can it be possible..?

One man (to another): A fire has entered your house ..., let's run!
Second: Don't joke, I have the house keys….! How can fire entered in house?

Habit

  A doctor used to say Insha Allah (if Allah wills), Masha Allah (as Allah will). One day he went to see a patient . . .
Patient: Doctor, I have a stomach ache.
Doctor: Masha Allah (as Allah will)
Patient (panicked): Will I die . . .?
Doctor: Insha Allah (if Allah wills)

It's six o'clock ...!

            The couple got into an argument and the conversation between the two ended but then they started writing to each other using paper and pen. One morning husband had to leave early so he write on a piece of paper & left on his head and went to sleep. "Wake me up at six in the morning."
          The next morning, when husband’s eyes opened, it was ten o'clock in the morning. He got very angry with his wife, but when he saw the paper written by his wife, all the anger went away on which it was written ... “Get up! It's six o'clock."

Proof

Teacher (to student): Give three proofs that the earth is round?
Student: Number one ... You say, number two ... I heard from my father and number three ... It is written in books.

Otherwise . . . !

         A madman climbed the pole and started shouting loudly. I will jump and die. At his voice a large crowd gathered there and the people began to tell him to get down but he refused. The second lunatic was going from there. When he saw that, he too quickly climbed the pole and said something in the ear of the first lunatic. Then the first lunatic and the second one came down.
          People asked the other lunatic, "What did you say that he came down ...?" The other lunatic said . . .
I said to him ... "Get down quickly otherwise I will take scissors and cut the pole."

Age

        One day the baby mouse met the baby elephant. The baby mouse asked the baby elephant, "How old are you?" The elephant said, "Two years." The baby mouse was very surprised to hear this & surprised over his a big body at such an age.
       Now the baby elephant asked the baby mouse ... "And how old are you?" The mouse said . . .
        "I am also two years old but my health is bit bad."

Last Wish

        A reporter asked a prisoner who has to be hanged soon, "Tell me your last wish?"
The prisoner replied, "Hang yourself in my place."

The Poet's Answer

       A poet wore the same old Eid clothes but his shoes looked new. People thought it was stolen. The poet, noticing the eyes of the people, said . . .
"These are the shoes ...
Don't think that I stole it
This is the grant of God
I brought it from his house.

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Most Funny Jokes in English | Jokes in English

Most Funny Jokes In English | Funny Jokes  In English

😊😃Looking for the most funny jokes. Then you are on a right place.  Here is a collection of  most funny jokes in English which can change your mood and you never forget to revisit. So lets have fun to read and share .....☺😍

Jokes In Hinglish, Jokes In Hindi, Jokes In Hindi
Very Funny English Jokes

Customer Care Executive

Teacher (to Sam): What does your father do?
Sam: He abuses every day!
Teacher: What do you mean?
Sam: Sir, he is a customer care executive…!!!

Unknown Phone Call

               At midnight ... bedroom telephone rang . . .
Husband (to wife): If someone asks about me, tell me I am not at home!
Wife (picking up the phone): My husband is at home!
Husband (teasing): I’ve said, if someone asks about me then said them, “I am not at home”.
Wife (giggling): Sleep quietly; there are no calls for you every time...!!!
                     Husband unconscious….

First Time

         As soon as the boy got out of the station, he started jumping with happiness…!
Friend: What happened, why are you so happy?
Boy: Today for the first time a girl talked to me in the metro!
Dude: Wow brother, what did that girl talk about?
Boy: I was sitting; she said get up, this is ladies seat . . . !!!

Warning . . . !

          An electrician said to his helper boy, "Son! There are two wires, touch one of them and see that there is no electricity in it.
          Following the instructions, the boy replied, "No."
  The electrician said . . .
         "Be Careful! Don't dare to touch the other wire otherwise you will die. "

Needful

          Complaining about a wicked boy, the teacher wrote to his father . . .
           "Dear Parent! Your child is very naughty, he doesn't like to read and write and fights with other boys and doesn't let them work either. Please instruct it to him and teach him the discipline. "
        The father wrote in reply . . .
        "Sir, if I could do all this myself, why I send the child to school ...?"

Unparalleled Example  . . . !

              A tourist was visiting the zoo with a guide. When he reached in front of a cage in which a lion and a goat were locked together, the tourist was shocked and said to the guide, "Wow! Wow!" This is a unique example of peaceful coexistence, but how is it possible . . .? "
"It's like we put a new goat in the cage every day," the guide replied explicitly.

Big Misunderstanding

      One man complained to his neighbor ... "Look sir! Yesterday your son threw a stone at me. "
Man: Did that stone hit you . . .?
Neighbor: No.
Man: So he is not my son, he will be someone else's son. You have a big misunderstanding.

Before Eating . . . !

Teacher (to student): Have you done your homework?
Student: No.
Teacher: Then get ready to have sticks.
Student: Sir! Let me wash my hands . . . ?
Teacher: Why . . . ?
Student: My mother says that you must wash your hands before having anything.

Same Place . . . !

One friend (to another): Why aren't you coming to school . . .?
Second: Dude! My father says that going to the same place again and again reduces respect.


Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Latest funny jokes in English | Funny English Jokes

Latest funny jokes in English | Funny English Jokes

       Looking for the latest funny jokes in English. Here is a collection of latest funny jokes in English which can change your mood. So lets have fun to read and share.


funny hinglish jokes, funny Hindi, funny jokes in Urdu
Latest Funny English Jokes


Mathematics Teacher


Student (to friend): I like very much our math’s teacher.
Friend: Why...?
Student: Because they get me out of class every time.

Innocent Answer

Teacher (to the disciple): Your ink is too pale.
Disciple (innocently): Well sir! Tomorrow I will bring sugar.

Extraordinary Beggar

Beggar: I am not an ordinary beggar, I have read a book called 'A hundred ways to make money'.
Man: Then why are you begging?
Beggar: Because this book states that this is the easiest way.

Copy

In the exam room, a boy was watching the copy of the boy in front of him, the teacher scolded and asked, "What are you looking at?"
The boy said nervously ... "I see that this boy did not imitate me."

Sewing Fee

A fat and stripped man approached the tailor and after giving his measure, he asked for amount of service. The tailor said "1000 rupees."
The man said, "On the phone you told 600 rupees."
The tailor replied - "They were sewing a shirt. And these are stitching the tent."

Dumb Beggar

A beggar was begging with a plaque in his hand, "I'm dumb, help me in the name of God."
One passenger asked, "Baba ... when is you dumb ...?"
The beggar said indiscriminately ... "I'm a born dumb."

Curfew

During the curfew, a man was sleeping outside the house. That's when the police arrived and woke the man and said, "Don't you know that curfew?"
Man: "Don't know."
Police: "Let's go police station. I will show you. "
Man: "wait brother ...! I just put my bed in."
          When the man did not come out after a while. . . .
Policeman (knocking door): "Hey get out.
Man (from inside): "Hey brother ...! How to get out, there’s curfew outside. Don’t you know? "

Glass Purchasing

Two fools went to the market to buy glasses. Glasses were lying upside down in the shop. Looking at a glass, one said, "These glasses are closed from above."
Another looked at a glass inverted and said, "And their bottoms are broken too."

Dowry - Procession

Husband: Hey listen, Munna is crying, shut him up…
Wife (angrily): Should I work or handle the children, I did not bring him in dowry; keep him silent on your own.
Husband: Let him crying… i didn’t take him to the wedding procession...

Confusion

Tony: Why are you so worry?
John: One thing is so anxious to me.
Tony: What is that?
John: When there is no bone in the heart, then where is it breaks from?

Dangerous Game

Sam: Have you ever played any dangerous game . . .???
.
.
.
David: Yes… Sometimes I give a reverse answer to my wife…!!!

Great Scientist

Sir asked in class ... "Name a great scientist?"
Student: Alia Bhatt!
Sir (showing the stick): Have you learned like this?
Another student: He is Tilting in speaking Sir, saying Aryabhatta …!!!

Q&A

Q: Why do men like Love at first sight..?
A: It saves them a lot of time.